is is one of those things passed from friend to firend and from family member to family member....and now, from Rainer to Rainer.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare...You cannot
find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.
Have two. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,
you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you
don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.
When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips;
start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this
motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
MMmmmmm Rum Balls.... Ho Ho Ho. I went to the gym today. I almost worked off the wine from last night.
James - gotta love those rum balls....
Ken, Thanks for the tips! I have been eating a lot of people's food for free the past couple weeks. I'll try to commit those to memory for future reference...
Hey, Tom -- rules to live by, that's for sure.
Love it, haven't seen any eggnog while out yet this year so I picked up a half gallon of it last night....what was I thinking, I should have gone for the gallon and bought two. Have you ever looked at the ex date on them? They're good till like St. Paddy's day...hmm I wonder....
It sure was fun to read all your tips. I will have an additional eggnog (on your behalf) during the next week without the guilt trip. Happy holidays!
Kevin -- if throw a little rum or bourbon into the egg nog it lasts that much longer. They're know preservatives.
Gerry -- Have two additional, what the heck!
Well, I certainly agree with you on the holiday eating tips. Why won't people eat gravy anymore. It doesn't really have that much fat, does it? It is no fun to try to diet during holiday season. I was just mentioning to my husband, before I read your article, how I wished I could go get a liposuction right now, though.
Cathy -- dieting during the holidays is a lost cause. And I'm not sure what the deal with gravy is. If it's good, it really adds to the stuffing and mashed potatoes!
Ken, that is real cute, you have a great sense of humor (although most of it was true)!
Regina P. Brown
Thanks, Regina! And thanks for highlighting the post on the Virtual Office - Work From Home group
Is dipping your rum balls in your egg nog bad form? Happy holidays!
This one made me laugh. What a great top 10 list. And I do love rum balls and spiked eggnog.
Have a great holiday season!
Hey Ken, we just picked up some more egg nog at COSTCO today. Cheers!
Cindy -- NAyway you want to eat rum ball is fine with me!
Alan -- It seems like this time is year is a non-stop eat fest anyway. Might as well give in.
Rich -- Did Costco have the 55 gal drum of egg nog?
Someone posted this a few days ago on the fridge at our office -- right around the time of the Holiday party come to think of it!
HI Ken; guess I don't have any standards - I LOVE fruitcake. Haven't found any so far this year, so if I do - I will eat a slice for you too!
Teri -- this is definitely making the rounds. Someone actually re-blogged it to their blog in Washington State. Now that's flattery I'll take any day (especially since they linked back to me!)
Eileen - my wife love fruitcake, too. I've never been very fond of it myself. But someone must like it. It comes around every year!
Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooo much, I now have a new life motto! And I love it!!!
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!
Now this is a great post. I have followed it to the tee this holiday season. Ill worry about the rest next year.